Dereko-chan

 A friend (female, single, solicitor-cum-entrepreneur, mid-30s), asked me over Saturday tea and sandwiches something like,

 "Would it have been easier to be happy if I'd chosen a normal life?"

Though a fairly simple question, it's loaded with assumptions:

1. That we have an unchangeable 'true' nature.
   This is a common theme in myth and religion, and evidenced by ourselves not being infinitely flexible. We are not chameleons.
2. That our unchangeable nature is common across humanity.
   This is a tempting assumption as we share many physical and non-physical needs in common with others.
3. That happiness and fulfillment come from following our true nature.
4. Following our true nature comes ... naturally.

At the beginning it looked like my friend's chips were down. Of course it would have been easier. She'd been picky and difficult all through her 20s, and was now single and childless as a result. Image: alternate her holding 2 never-realised children, saying, "Serves you right." As the talk progressed, however, we found ourselves discovering a few other ideas:

• It is not actually easy to be 'normal'. People are quite driven to fit into the aspirational demographic. Some adopt irrational methods, including getting (others) pregnant to acquire a family, making consumer purchases or investments to seemingly do nothing more than generate suitable conversation stories.
• If it was easier to do it, she would have done it already. But no, there was something, given her foresight, intelligence, and savvy that barred the suburban path, making it unnatural for her.
• People with enough smarts and independence of thought make abnormal choices not because we are being ornery, but because we have the ability to follow them through.
• Our abnormal choices are part of our true natures.

Now apply the previous assumptions to reach a startling conclusion...

The majority is not following their true nature. The happy families with their flatscreens, baby car seats, and their Wiggles DVDs are not being fulfilled at all. But they're too dumb to know, or do anything about it.

Anyways, You go, girl.

How reprehensible the man
Who, when death’s crew enters the room,
Stands firmly up before they can
Take hold, and, dignified though wan,
Walks with raised chin towards his doom.

How pitiful the creature who
Gulps frail yet resolute goodbyes
To all and sundry that he knew,
Being so brave as to hide from view
The reddened nose and teary eyes.

How abject he who shifts to faith
All the responsibility,
And smiling palely, waits for death,
With no drive to prolong his breath:
It’s His will – what will be, will be.

The heart that muscled through the years;
The eyes that marked the coloured time;
The mind’s daily-expanding spheres:
Betrayed by wrathless, placid tears
Of vile acceptance of this crime.

No – futile though the battle is,
No one was born to feed the soil;
We all may stand by the abyss,
But though the darkness will not miss,
It cannot force a single smile.

So when the rope loops round the neck,
Embrace it not as destined fate,
Or whisper gently, ‘make it quick’;
But writhe and curse and glare and kick
With all your life, with all your hate.

by Khor Kuan Min

"Rage, rage, against the dying of the light."  Only with more irony and contempt. Dylan Thomas better grow some balls because he's just been served. Love it.